it's ok, it really is

perhaps it is all
just the weathering 
process

life that is

though my roof 
         if i literally had one 
would be a bit rusted 
and dented by 
now

it is still strong enough
to provide shelter
and a good life

in fact
life is better
with the rust
and the dents

i wasn't always willing to say that

the rust and dents 
remind me where i have been
and it remains constant 
encouragement 
to hold on to what i've learned 
along the way

there is the key 
to the journey

i learned 
along the way
and still am

of course 
some of that rust
and those dents are 
consequences of 
some pretty difficult moments

and i would be lying to say
those moments were 
fodder 
for some anger

anger i've been 
working to put 
into perspective

anger from long ago bullies
to not that long ago events 
in life and in church

it has been my holy week
discipline to put down
and let go of some of that 
crusty old anger

i finally discovered 
i don't like what it does to me

so with a certain amount of 
courage and a whopping dose 
of humility 
i spoke with a few folks 
and came clean 
with the stuff that was 
standing in the way 
of 
peace

i don't know why we
carry and coddle anger 
as long as we do

i don't know why 
we think it is 
easier to 
carry anger 
than it is to let go
of it

so 
i'll admit 
the brooding dance 
i've had with anger

i'll allow folks to 
chuckle to themselves 
at my expense
and mumble while
biting their lip to say
"i told you so"

i'll allow 
folks to continue 
to scrutinize my 
feelings and actions

it's ok
it really is

because all i can 
really do is take the next step 
into something better

i'm just thankful 
i've figured out how to 
take this kind of walk

it's as if 
i've crested the peak of a hill

i so appreciate where i am 
and who i am
and what i am busy doing

i have some rust 
and some dents from the journey
that's for sure

but it's ok
it really is