Saturday, June 25, 2016

Grief and Grace

A moment of grief
followed by a circle of grace.

Grief and grace 

Often hand in hand grief and grace 
move through life.

The power of grief is that it stops us
it opens us
it has power to cleanse us with tears... 
tears that come in all sizes and varieties. 

The senseless hate that led to death in Orlando
created a cavern of grief....
space so deep and wide 
it left so many of us breathless
as if floating in zero gravity...
but slowly our feet landed back on the ground
and we gathered 
united with others in our community
to pray
to speak
to sing
to cry
to embrace
to make abundantly clear that our feet 
are firmly planted 
and are here to stay. 

A young one in our midst wrote words
telling her own story 

Her mother read the words
as she stood before us with such courage 
and yes
the very grace 
that when we encounter it we see a way forward
filled with hope. 

That young one in our midst
surrounded by a circle of woman
offering her as much grace as she carry...
it was
and is 
beautiful to see. 

Such grief and grace will
surely lead us 
into the days and months 
and years to come. 

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

i think of a dear friend
i feel with my son
and as i do 
i remember hearing,

"all churches are like this"

all churches have stories 
of heartache, conflict
and more

not all churches 
are alike

some work to push past 
heartaches, conflict 
and more

some don't

and when a church 
eventually one gets hurt
or more

Monday, April 21, 2014

easter tomb burst open
       new life

all that was sealed up in s i l e n c e 
no longer has 

there is memory 
of the pain 
and fear
and shame
and though 
the darkness may hover
and mingle 
and threaten

it no longer has 
power to have the 

the promise infused 
empty tomb 
of  GOD'S boundless love
creates a new reality


the empty tomb 
did not birth a new religion

the empty tomb 
brought forth 
           h  of GOD'S love

those who see empty easter tomb 
as doctrine alone
are intent on 
staying in the tomb...
      are determined to 
           limit GOD

and this is the very story 
is it not?

those who tried to limit 
GOD in the first easter story
failed miserably

no amount of shame
or pain 
could stop GOD'S 
to birth 


the whole world
for everyone

defines easter

love that could not 
be sealed away 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

it's as if i've been training 
for the olympics

a little more than five years 

of living after
two life events 
altering almost every aspect 
of my life
or so it seemed

1.  divorce 

from a woman 
who will forever remain 
a "soul-mate"
who i respect 
and am thankful 
she has shared half 
of my life journey
and also lived the miracle
of two children 
who continue to bless us both.

2.  coming out

to the truth of my life 
that i was born 
a homosexual or what ever 
term you wish to use
because i claim them all now.

in this period of life

i've served three churches
in three different states
was fired but not fired from one 
only to discover deep wisdom through the process
which led me to the precious church i currently serve
as they live into the same kind of monumental change 
i've experienced

in this period of life

i wrestled with every fiber of my being
to complete a doctor of ministry degree
and along the way discovered
the village of loving folks 
who supported me in ways 
i will be writing about for years to come

in this period of life

i've learned to live on my own
far away from the land 
where i was born and lived most of my life 
i've listened to blunt honesty 
others have had a need to voice
trusted the guiding words of a life coach
who continues to enrich my life 
with insight and encouragement

some days have moved so slowly 

i've almost suffocated before making it to the next breath
sped by so quickly i forgot i was breathing

in this period of life

i've searched for new relationship
opening my heart with expectation
while having to hone the honest truth
of what i need and long to have
in a relationship i hope to 
share for years to come

in this period of life

i've written and spoken oceans of words
bumping into the reality
that others had to encounter my words
discovering some have been hurt 
while others inspired

so as i 
live into the next season 
i begin with apology
to those my honesty has hurt
i also offer thanks
to those my honesty has inspired


the power words
i pray 
fill me with wisdom and compassion
and joy and memory 
as i 
figure out 
what to do with the words 
that fill me to overflowing

for so many years i held many words in

for these past few years 
they've been spilling out

but i'm in 

a new place
having discovered 
i've been called 
to be a storyteller 
of sorts
and in need 
of discerning 
how best to share
the stories 
i've been given. 

Monday, February 3, 2014

it's bloomin time again!

it's bloomin time!

as one dear friend
proclaimed for me
i now proclaim for
my brave, faithful,
compassionate, and genuine
who at this very moment
is preparing to speak
truth before people
he is serving.

my friend!

it's time to
let the petals of your life...
all the blessings that have
been hidden away 
burst forth!

my friend!

it's time to allow
GOD'S unconditional grace
to shower down upon you
and fill you up!

my friend!

you are free to be
free to speak
free to receive!

you are not alone
there are many standing with
you tonight and in the days
to come.

so my prayer:

may you bloom
with joy
new hope
and never 
be lonely in silence 


and amen. 

Monday, January 27, 2014

despite the church, the CULTURE imagined something better

(the church:  larger church in america
the culture:  the neighborhood the church lives in)

while the church is preoccupied 
with the nuances of verbs, nouns 
adjectives and other 
intellectual banter
such as the difference 
a and the
in and for...

while the church 
can't find the courage
or the compassion
all along 
to conform...

it is just about 
this time 
moved on.

the CULTURE  moved on
this past week 
at the 
award show
as one leader i respect proclaimed.

the CULTURE dared 
to do what the church
refuses to do
but is the only thing 
they are called to do.

didn't just take on the church
the CULTURE took the church
stained glass windows and all.

the church yells truths
and the church remains silent 
hoping everything will just go
back the way it was
but there is no way 
to go back.

so the CULTURE moved on

ordained their own 
and did it themselves.

sang songs with all their heart
and pronounced LOVE
and celebrated LOVE.

the CULTURE did 
what the church 
won't do.

the church wrangles 
as if she is still relevant
but there is no 
relevancy if the church 
won't do what the church 
is called to do.

the church can't preach love
if the church can't love.

the church can't legislate love
if the church can't love.

the church has nothing to say to others about love
if the church can't love.

this week
the CULTURE did
what the church
won't do.

lived LOVE
as 32 
straight and gay 
couples united in marriage.

left the church 
behind this week.

in the CULTURE'S dust 
the church 
will continue to wrangle
with votes
and the collection of data
trying to find the way into the future

but the calling of the church 
is not about votes or data
or the parsing of tiny words
the church is called 
to love. 

perhaps the CULTURE
will teach the church
how to love. 

Sunday, November 24, 2013

fully showing up

what does it take
to fully show up
in your

some people...
like my
son for instance
was born this way.

from the youngest of age
he walked into a room

for other folks
it takes a longer journey
to fully show up...

for me
it has taken a longer journey
to show up
more fully

to show up
confident in who i am
and who i am not

joyful enough
to know i have something to offer

at peace
that i don't have
to constantly prove myself
but just be.

it's that love yourself part of
what jesus says
when he said

"You shall love your
neighbor as yourself."

i'm not talking
egotistical love
or i am better than you kind of love.

that would stand in the
way of loving others.

i'm talking about
love enough to
show up
as if you

as if you yourself
have something
valuable to offer

as if you yourself
are loved by others.

it's a circle
a continual wrestling match
an up and down journey...
this showing up
fully stuff.

i've had a glimpse
and an experience
of fully showing up

i've seen and experienced
what my son
was able to see
and claim
at such an early age.

i'm seeing it now in my
daughter who
has deep wisdom at 21...
wisdom that took me 48 years
of life to claim.

i am more
fully showing up
in my life now
and there is
no turning back.