we all want the same...

comfort

support

compassion

love...

we

all

want the same thing.

all of us.

thank you kathy h-tree

first steps

first steps tonight

small

but good.

first steps tonight

to a

new

beginning...

a new kind of

relationship.

first steps

tonight...

i was finally

ready to

take them...

just a couple...

a

few

first

steps...

thankful

relieved...

it is good

to have

taken the

first few

steps.

take it....it's yours

Jesus,

take the wheel...

Too many years

I have held on

too tight.

For too many years

I have believed

that I know best...

where to go...

what to do...

how to serve.

So now,

with all the risk involved...

I am letting go.

Jesus,

you

take the wheel.

I am finally empty

enough to to let go.

I am finally courageous

enough to follow.

Jesus...

take the wheel...

for faith is not the same for me...

Deeper,

broader,

wider,

higher

faith is the gift

You give...

Certainly,

not what I expected.

Not sure

I wanted to go this

deep,

broad,

wide,

high.

But here I am.

So,

I let go.

You take the wheel

for a while.

Course my steering wheel is attached

to an older GMC truck...

I trust you know how

to drive a truck.

Jesus,

take the wheel.

sometimes lemon pie
is
the only thing
that
can help
make things
better...

ok....
lemon pie and
a hot toddy.

not
necessarily
at the same time
but on the same day!

space for God

All I can do...
all I have done lately...
is
leave
space for God.

God the Father,
God the Son,
God the Holy Spirit.

God the Creator,
God the Redeemer,
God the Sustainer.

Holy,
Holy,
Holy.

The beginning of all things,
The Word,
The comforter.

Come reside,
rest,
dwell.

I live near Fort Hood
where tragedy visited
our nation this
past week.

I live
in a denomination
with courage and compassion enough
to send a Crisis Team
to visit the churches
in the area....
to offer what they can
not only to
Presbyterian's
but to anyone.

Though I
nor the church I serve
have immediate needs
connected to the
current crisis...
the team visited me today.

They came
to ask what they could do...
to listen...
to share with me what they
and others are doing
to
serve
and to help.

Though they were not
deployed for my
personal needs...
they did fill me
with peace and hope.

It was as if they knew
the story of my past year.
It was as if they were my
family circling round
to make sure
all is well.

I left space for God...
and three faithful
visitors...
saints...
friends...
came into my life today
to share thier love.

Pictures paint

the moments

of this past weekend...

good, pleasant, filled with peace.

Like Forrest Gump

mile after mile....

I drive.

Driving back from

the farm

I chose the c.d. I have

been avoiding for 16 months....

the last time I heard

the music...

the words.

I haven't had the courage to listen to it since.

I knew the day I listened

to this

music.....

and had

perspective of

the past, the present the pending future....

without a deep sense of grief

this would be

a sign of healing.

I listened to the songs...

each one.

"Look at this man....

so filled with inspiration..."

These old songs

are beginning to sound like new ones.

Today was

good.

Changing leaves,

driving,

rocking, and

talking on the

phone.

Today was good.

Pink and orange setting sun....

happy dogs sleeping on the end of the couch...

an email from a friend who understands.

Today was good.

farm road thinking...

window at First Presbyterian, Gatesville

Things come to mind

when driving

down farm roads

with open windows.

Things like life....

Things like after life.

I wonder:

If we have sanitized the Christ child's crib

then what else have we done.

"No crying he makes", we sing.

As if.

Yes,

Fully divine...

the Christ child

was bathed in

light from above.

But also,

Fully human...

that baby cried,

that baby pooped.

If we've sanitized

the Christ crib....

then perhaps

we have

so

idealized

heaven...

we've made that

what it

can't be.

Bonhoeffer called what we

do and think...

cheap grace.

Heaven?

If heaven

is a place

of God's

making...

intention...

imagination...

grace....

Perhaps we will be

surprised

what it is...

where it is....

and who will be there.

Just asking.

Just thinking.

That's what happens

when driving down

farm roads with the

open

windows.