Tuesday, July 17, 2012

she loves me

my precious daughter

i was born to be a father
and my life was changed yet again 
when my daughter was born.
we call her homemade.

my son
the way he used to explain it to his little sister:
they chose me...
they had to keep you.

there is no difference in love 
that is chosen or homemade.  
no difference at all...

my daughter.
she is tenacious!
from the very beginning 
she established her willingness and ability 
to stick to it.

she was always determined to keep up with her big brother....
and then surpassed him in karate.
he quit to play baseball 
she became a black belt in 5th grade. 

my dear 
beautiful and ever so strong 
and delightful daughter.

i told my counselor all about her...
adding that i didn't think i had it in me
to tell my daughter the truth about my life.
i remember saying 
i might as well die.

my counselor said...
"blake, it will be difficult
but it won't kill you."  

so, i set out with my wife 
to tell our daughter
that i was not only born to be a father...
but i was born gay...
and coming to terms with the gay
was going to re-arrange our lives. 

it was a bumpy day...
the day i sat down with my 
wife and daughter to speak truth.

i had promised to speak with clarity 
and brevity.  
so i did.

i sat in a rocker.
my daughter sat on the couch.
my wife next to her. 

i sat facing the two...
knee to knee
eye to eye.

i spoke
and before i could finish my brief story 
my daughter 
moved to my lap...
like my son 
she hugged me...
like my son she 
spoke with clarity,
and un

though the journey ahead 
for all of us was frightening
as  we stepped into uncharted territory
it would be these 
initial words of 
love and grace 
that would root us
and hold us together 
like we had not been held together before.

no pollyana gloss over.
it was difficult.

change cannot erase love.

love endures all things....
and for me
and my daughter
we have had the blessing 
of discovering this deep 
and abiding truth.  

without condition...
i love my daughter
and she loves me.

1 comment:

Reverend Shawn said...

They chose me ...
but they had to keep you ...


you are both blessed and a blessing Blake - your reflections on your journey and your experiences with your family are truly breath-taking. Mattie is an awesome young lady with two awesome parents, and together you guys make the world a better more hopeful and HOPE-FILLED PLACE!!!

thank you ...