Friday, July 13, 2012

a son and a father

my son and my daughter

i was born to be a father
and two of the blessings of my life
and two of the reasons i have 
discovered the courage and joy 
of living into my GOD breathed identity 
are my children.

my precious WAYDE
and my precious MADELEINE. 

story first.

i'm not telling his life story
though i have written and preached 
many of the episodes of his 
phenomenal life.

i'm sharing here 
that moment when i had 
to stand before my son 
and speak the truth about my life.

at the time WAYDE was living with my 
sister's family on their farm west of houston.

he came alive on that farm
and there he established his future...
graduated from high school 
learned life skills 
and created a community of support and friendship.

i woke up early that day
with the task of telling my story to my son.
i called my sister and asked
where i could find WAYDE
when i arrived at the farm.
she told me which field he was working in.

a son
in a field...
a father
speaking truth.

it's the making of a biblical parable. 

i drove across the bumpy earth 
into the field where my son was laboring.
he waved at me and greeted me the way he always did.

i quickly began my story
as i could no longer carry it on my own. 

he listened.
he lovingly, patiently listened. 

i anticipated his response.

i spoke the words that had long been locked in my heart.

the simple truth is
that i am gay. 

the truth jolted.
there is no way around such emotion.

i encouraged him to talk with my sister....
for she had known me all my life
and she could help him sort out 
his thoughts...
he loved her from the beginning and trusted her.

he listened
to more of the words i spoke
and then he looked into my eyes 
and said,
"ok, i've heard you.  i need time alone now."

so i left.
i drove to my parents house about 45 minutes away . 

before crossing the railroad tracks 
into my parents subdivision 
where i had grown up
my son called me.

his words were simple.
"dad, before you go back home, come by the farm again
i need to see you."

so i did.
i drove to the farm.
this time he was out back of the house.

i drove up
with a lump in my throat.

i drove up and he immediately began walking toward my truck. 
i opened the door 
and when i got out
he hugged me
like i've never been hugged before. 

it was the hug 
of the prodigal....
the other father and son 
who had tapped into the truth of love
deeper than any thing else life can concoct. 

"i love you,"
my son said.

"i love you no matter what. 
i love you."

it would be pollyanna to suggest
this love would not be stretched and tested....
it was....
but it never faded....
it never went away.

you see....
my son taught me
with his heart
the lesson of unconditional love. 

my son

i love him.
he loves me. 


No comments: