Thursday, July 19, 2012

big bro

big bro years ago!

my brother.
he is seven years older
and when i was young
he was a giant
in every since of the word.

our relationship was typical.
he was big, strong, and owned 
the world as far as i could discern.

i was the target of his 
need to wield power.
"i'll count to three...
if you don't get me a drink of water
you will regret it."  

most of the time he got his water.
other times i refused to be 
bossed and suffered the 


as has been said
time changes things.
time changed my brother.
time changed me. 

the gift of time 
for both of us came with 
bumps and bruises.

the gift of time 
for both of us came with 
loss and new life.

my brother is a recovering alcoholic.
recovering is the key word
for it points to the new life he discovered 
after coming to terms with life....

coming to terms with life has to do 
with coming to terms with power...
the power we have and do not have.

coming to terms with life 
my brother says 
has to do with finally trusting
GOD'S unconditional love.

my brother saved me one night...
the darkest night of my life.

i was in the darkest part of the 
proverbial closet 
before i had what i needed 
to open the door and come 
OUT of denial. 

though i had verbally told
people in my life 
that i was gay...
and had already experienced radical 
changes in my life...
i did not come to terms with 
the full news myself
until that darkest moment.

in that moment my brother 
offered me the gift of unconditional love.
he offered me words 
not only of comfort 
but of strength
when i needed them most.

he did for me what he does for 
countless others now
who seek new life and

time has a way 
of changing things...
of changing lives.  

time has changed me
opened me
allowed me 
to see not only the bigger picture of my life
but the bigger picture of 
other peoples lives. 

my brother has a gift
and one night
he offered me
his gift.

he saved my life.
i'm not sure he knows.
he will know now.

my brother has a gift....

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