shadow living

photo by wm. blake spencer/blake and his parents

at forsythe wildlife refuge in oceanville, nj

shadows are an image of reality,

mostly they come with

distortion

as they exist

at the whim of the sun.

but nestled beneath the elongated
or stunted shadowed images
there is always a story.

the shadow pictured above

is a keeper...

it will forever

tell the story i will cherish.

you see i have parents who love me.

their love comes with smiles, hugs,

the willingness to drive long distances,

words of encouragement, genuine interest

as to who i am and what i am doing

and how i am feeling.

i won't, don't and can't take for granted

the love my parents have freely given me

throughout my life.

i am blessed.

growing up gay comes with the possibility

that your very own parents

might choose to reject you...

full rejection or

partial...

get out of my life i never want to see you banishment

or

i love you, come visit if you want

but i believe you are going to hell

and i really never want to talk about your life...

especially the gay part.

my parents love me

this i know

because they have told me so

not only by their words

but by all that they do.

they want me to thrive and be happy.

i know they wonder and worry.

and well they should

because they live in the same

world and the same church i do.

they hear the stories of condemnation

they've seen the images of gay men and women

abused and killed,

they listen to the theology and politics that degrade gays.

they know that gay men and women live life

swimming up stream.

they wonder and worry,

but mainly they love...

and their love

gives me the peace

and the courage to

have what they have had...

companionship and love.

this week my parents

will celebrate their

60th wedding anniversary.

my mom was 16 and my dad was 20

when they got married.

i've been told one great aunt

did not want them to get married...

others thought their marriage would not last.

and yet,

here they are

60 years later...

still in relationship

loving each other

and loving their children.

i'm a gay man

and this is part of my story...

my parents love me

and they have paved the way for me

to continue to be loved and to love...

despite the barriers and hurdles

that come with being

gay in this country and in the church.