bully ways

a jelly fish - seems appropriate

when talking about bullies

this week is

anti-bullying week.

the stinging words and actions

of a bully can last a lifetime.

i've written about my bully

here before,

but i wasn't able

to tell all my story

then.

my bully's name

was

tommy crosby

from conroe, texas.

he lived in river plantation.

i remember his name

like the church remembers

the name,

pontius
    p i l a t e.

i remember his name.

i also remember his

words and his fists.

i remember...

but i also know
    n o w

his pathetic show of power

was really rooted in his low self esteem.

he didn't like himself

so he took it out on me.

that's the way of a bully.

however...

their weakness and fear
does not excuse the abuse
bullies force on others.

tommy yelled for the world to hear...
my world that is...

the others on the bus,

the others in the hall, 

the others in the neighborhood.

he yelled

queer,

sissy,
    f a g !

a year ago my grown daughter and i 
took a walk in the neighborhood where i grew up.

we walked by tommy crosby's house.

i had her take a picture of me

on the front lawn where my bully lived.

i told my daughter about

tommy
    c r o s b y.

she said,

well dad

maybe he was just trying

to help you know who you are.

i got what she was saying.

she didn't think tommy crosby

was right or nice. 

she knew he was a bully

and bullies
in reality are the scardy cats...

weak people who

do not have the courage to

face their own fears and issues.

i got what she was saying.

i am
    g a y.

tommy crosby sensed that.

he was right.

but
he was so very wrong.

he never apologized

and he never will.

i don't need
    h i m   t o.

i've gained the wisdom

and the courage and the

    j o y

to walk in this world

with my head up and my

life intact.

tommy crosby
is only one of many bullies
in this world.

some bullies

never grow up...

because i've encountered

adult bullies.

one sat across my desk
in the pastor's study
and snarled
"but you are effeminate, and
i will always think that."

ok.
think that
if it makes you feel better
about yourself.

oh i remember!
but bullies
and their ways don't work with me
    a n y m o r e.

so i write

that others might know...

especially those who bully...

grow up, get over yourself,

and stop blaming others

for your inability

to live with confidence and joy.

so i write

that others might know...

especially those who are bullied...

stay strong, live in to who you are,

don't stay silent! 

and hear those like me

who are saying...

it gets

    b e t t e r !