Monday, June 18, 2012

a real friend


this is my best friend, bill.
in the picture 
above.

we met in seminary 
and have basically become family.
his mother is like my mother.
his wife and children are like my own family.

bill has been a constant 
throughout my adult life.
he is gentle, kind, and deeply intuitive.

i danced at his wedding.
i baptized his daughter.
and i will be there for many other life events.

four years ago 
i took the picture above
while at the lake house 
bill's family owns 
on lake of the ozarks in 
the show me state.

four years ago 
it was time to tell my best friend
something i had yet to tell him...

i had told him everything else about my life.
now
it was time to speak the words -
"I 
am gay." 

it was time to hear his response.

i knew bill 
well enough to know that i would not lose 
his friendship.

and i was right.

we were floating on 
styrofoam water noodles
not far from the lake
when i broke the news.

"really?" 
he asked.

"really."
i replied.

"i am gay."

"ok," bill said.

and with only a few more words 
we went on with life. 

unconditional grace
and love is something 
we presbyterian's say we believe...
say makes us different from other christian's.

i can't say we presbyterian's have done 
that good of a job living what we say we believe...

i can say my friend bill
was one of the very first to 
bring alive the concept of 
"unconditional".

the first thing he did was listen
as i told him things i had never
had freedom to voice. 

he listened.

this is a gift 
that proves friendship...
that proves love.

bill's wife worried that 
my "gayness" meant that 
bill might be gay too.
 i suppose that is a common reaction.  

but bill 
is not gay...
bill simply has a gay friend.

i am gay...
and gay people 
have the ability to have male friends 
who are not gay.

more than most 
bill knows
my life journey.

he knows what i've chosen
and not chosen.

he knows how i've struggled
but he also knows my courage.

how very
fortunate i am 
to have a best friend
who knows me
and loves me.

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