interlude for choice

a picture of me.

so there comes that moment...

at 

least 

the moment 

came for me.

i had to chose.

funny....

the one thing people 
(who condemn

homosexual folks like me)

say 
just as much as they say 

that word hell...

is the word 

choice.

you made a choice to be gay,

they say. 

honestly 

i don't know why 

anyone would make 

a choice to be gay 

in a church 

and in a world that

condemn gays 

and hate gays

and continue to fight about

who gays are 

and how they should live

and not live.

choice

and hell...

the two words most often hurled 

in the direction of one who is gay.

choices....

yes, i made some.

hell...

yes, i went there.

and i will continue to 

tell my story as to the choices i've made

and as to the hell i survived. 

for now

the choice 

i'm talking about is the choice 

i had to make....

the choice of continuing to listen to 

the voices who arrogantly define 

who i am and who i am not 

as if they are god....

or 

listen to 

GOD who spoke 

directly, powerfully,

lovingly, and 

patiently...

to me.

"it is time 

blake."

"it is time to be who i created you to be.

quit hiding.

quit allowing others to shame you.

quit claiming shame for yourself.

i did not create you 

to hate yourself

to be ashamed of yourself.

i created you 

and i love you...

and all 

i want to do is love you.

live into my love."

i made a choice 

to live into GOD'S 

love.  

and that is what 

i am busy doing these days. 

i made a choice to 

celebrate GOD'S choice

to love 

me.

i've made a choice to 

recognize how hurtful the church 

has been...

to me and to others

with harsh and sometimes 

violent condemnation 

and also

through decent, orderly,  moderate 

do nothing, say nothing silence. 

i've made a choice to 

speak and live 

that others might 

find the courage and the joy

to choose 

the same love

that has healed me

and made me whole.