laughing pastor

photo by wm. blake spencer - a flower for my daughter

four july's back

i posted the picture above...

but the words of my post 

at that time 

could not tell the whole story. 

it wasn't time for all the story to unfold.

what i thought would be the worst moment of my life:

telling my children....

that i was/am gay

did not turn out to be the pit of hell 

i anticipated.  

the pit of hell would come another day

that place where some in the church 

say people like me will go....

well i went.

but for now....in this posting

we are still at the lake 

in the initial days of my coming out.

it was not yet time 

to tell my daughter...

but it was time to begin 

preparing her.  

we had been in the little lake house for a week.

my daughter is beautiful and she is smart.

she was aware that her parents had done a lot of crying

over the course of the week

 so she asked...

"what's wrong?

why have you both been crying?"

i could tell her 

we were feeling the grief of change.

her mother, my wife

was also my co-pastor

and she had decided to leave the church 

and the ministry.

this was enough change to cause tears

and it did.

but the bigger story of divorce

would not happen for two more years. 

at least we thought....

it wasn't time to tell my daughter,

but it was time to prepare her.

so i gave her a flower...

the one in the picture above.

and i said 

i want you to hear my words and never

never 

never 

forget them....

change can never erase love.

she heard the words and repeated them.

she also kept that flower.

held it on our trip back home.

i had a huge poster of the picture above

made 

with our words 

printed at the bottom:

change can never erase love.

that was and is our truth.

even when our truth 

would get shaken to the core

we held on 

to these words.

change can never erase love.  

and no amount of change

has erased our love...

the love i have for my daughter,

my son and my former spouse

can never be erased.

i believe the same 
for GOD.
change cannot 
erase the love GOD has for me.
change cannot 
erase the love i have for GOD.