waves of grief, waves of mercy

So it seems grief comes in waves.
It moves in and out.
One moment all seems calm,
another moment it is overwhelming.

Lately I have had the opportunity to spend part of my morning on a gorgeous front porch. There I sip my coffee and pray.

Today I realized that though my journey has become more peaceful....there are moments when grief wells up.

Time spent on the porch has unfolded some lessons. I have become a bit better at forecasting the waves. I know when the grief is about to approach. With this I have a choice. I can run from the turning, twisting wave or I can stand in its path.

If I stay put then I must dive into the wave.....and push my way to the other side.

When I do this....I always get to the other side where it is peaceful and calm.
Atleast....
for a while.

This I have learned. The more waves I dive into and make my way through....the less power and influence grief has in my life.

So I will
dive....
again and again....
until
all there
is...

is
hope,
new beginning,
life.