Tuesday, April 8, 2014

it's as if i've been training 
for the olympics

a little more than five years 

of living after
two life events 
altering almost every aspect 
of my life
or so it seemed

1.  divorce 

from a woman 
who will forever remain 
a "soul-mate"
who i respect 
and am thankful 
she has shared half 
of my life journey
and also lived the miracle
of two children 
who continue to bless us both.

2.  coming out

to the truth of my life 
that i was born 
a homosexual or what ever 
term you wish to use
because i claim them all now.

in this period of life

i've served three churches
in three different states
was fired but not fired from one 
only to discover deep wisdom through the process
which led me to the precious church i currently serve
as they live into the same kind of monumental change 
i've experienced

in this period of life

i wrestled with every fiber of my being
to complete a doctor of ministry degree
and along the way discovered
the village of loving folks 
who supported me in ways 
i will be writing about for years to come

in this period of life

i've learned to live on my own
far away from the land 
where i was born and lived most of my life 
i've listened to blunt honesty 
others have had a need to voice
trusted the guiding words of a life coach
who continues to enrich my life 
with insight and encouragement

some days have moved so slowly 

i've almost suffocated before making it to the next breath
sped by so quickly i forgot i was breathing

in this period of life

i've searched for new relationship
opening my heart with expectation
while having to hone the honest truth
of what i need and long to have
in a relationship i hope to 
share for years to come

in this period of life

i've written and spoken oceans of words
bumping into the reality
that others had to encounter my words
discovering some have been hurt 
while others inspired

so as i 
live into the next season 
i begin with apology
to those my honesty has hurt
i also offer thanks
to those my honesty has inspired


the power words
i pray 
fill me with wisdom and compassion
and joy and memory 
as i 
figure out 
what to do with the words 
that fill me to overflowing

for so many years i held many words in

for these past few years 
they've been spilling out

but i'm in 

a new place
having discovered 
i've been called 
to be a storyteller 
of sorts
and in need 
of discerning 
how best to share
the stories 
i've been given. 

No comments: