circuitous revival

revival

hmmm

i know about them
i know about such

i remember one presbyterian choir
i sang with 
changed the word in an anthem 

revived 
changed to renewed
because of the 
images and feelings 
the word 
revived...
revival 
brought up

the picture above 
depicts revival

it's not the kind of 
revival i would show up for 
if invited

invited

that's a big part of this 
word revival

the people above 
in the photo
had a choice to find a chair in the tent

by some means 
they were 
invited

recently

very 
recently 
revival of sorts 
happened 

not by invitation 
but part of a mandatory meeting

and the result 
in my mind and heart 
was anything
but
revival

i believe in revival
i just don't use this term to describe 
how GOD has
caused new understanding
and new beginnings in my life

i believe in revival 
but i don't believe it happens 
in the way we expect
nor is it a product of 
a particular era
or corner of the church  

i believe revival involves repentance
i also believe repentance
is a very different journey for each one of us

i also believe we are not able to know the 
nuances of each others repentance 

to suggest 
that some are 
non-repentant 

well....
it is not my place
or your place to 
know 
or suggest 

i repent 
only to GOD

to you
to myself...
i ask forgiveness

i repent
only to GOD
and because 
GOD is the recipient 

only GOD 
knows
what i repent
how i repent
when i repent
and all the nouns
verbs 
feelings 
and episodes of my repentance

i can share my story
but if you can't hear it
or understand it

that is your 
issue
your baggage
yours to wrestle with

perhaps 
it
is something you need 
to repent

"revival
repent
righteousness
the unsaved spoke belief just in time 
holiness
he 
him 
men"

these were all words 
of the revival 
in a mandatory setting
recently

they did nothing to 
open my understanding
or to bring about 
a new beginning

however,
i did go away
knowing 
that the 
newness in my life
is real
and lasting
and good
and 
grace

and perhaps 
in a circuitous 
way
this is how 
GOD's 
HOLY SPIRIT 
worked
and works

so 
be it.