of denial
the inner voice
rooted in shame and fear
tempting me to believe
i was not good enough
on my own merit
my wrestling match
finally ended
and with new freedom
i finally silenced
the inner voice
of shame and fear
i shed denial
which meant
a domino effect of changes
in my life
like any change
some of the journey
was utterly painful
and not all
of the changes
did i celebrate
when i speak of my
coming out
i speak of new found courage
and freedom
courage:
i never
believed i had
courage
and that is why i
overly
depended on
others in my life
to do what i should
have been capable of
doing on my own
freedom:
i didn't feel trapped
in all areas of my life
i didn't feel
trapped in marriage
i loved my wife
i still love her
i love my family
i felt trapped and choked
by the inner war
of insecurity
and fear
and self
loathing
courage...
i've spoken
given up
moved
and done everything
i can to live what
i say i believe
freedom...
i don't
overly depend on others
anymore
i've learned to
love myself
and to enjoy
life without
the inner wrestling
coming out
is never an individuals journey
it involves
all the others
in ones life
though i
celebrate
the end of shame
and fear in my life
i also
celebrate
the faith and strength
and love
of my family
who have
all been involved
in this journey
with me
they too
are my story
and as they
remain part of my story
i celebrate
them
and thank them
for unconditional love
i only pray
i can offer
them
the same kind of love
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