Monday, June 18, 2012

interlude for choice


a picture of me.

so there comes that moment...
at 
least 
the moment 
came for me.

i had to chose.

funny....
the one thing people 
(who condemn
homosexual folks like me)
say 
just as much as they say 
that word hell...
is the word 
choice.

you made a choice to be gay,
they say. 

honestly 
i don't know why 
anyone would make 
a choice to be gay 
in a church 
and in a world that
condemn gays 
and hate gays
and continue to fight about
who gays are 
and how they should live
and not live.

choice
and hell...
the two words most often hurled 
in the direction of one who is gay.

choices....
yes, i made some.

hell...
yes, i went there.

and i will continue to 
tell my story as to the choices i've made
and as to the hell i survived. 

for now
the choice 
i'm talking about is the choice 
i had to make....
the choice of continuing to listen to 
the voices who arrogantly define 
who i am and who i am not 
as if they are god....

or 
listen to 
GOD who spoke 
directly, powerfully,
lovingly, and 
patiently...
to me.

"it is time 
blake."

"it is time to be who i created you to be.
quit hiding.
quit allowing others to shame you.
quit claiming shame for yourself.

i did not create you 
to hate yourself
to be ashamed of yourself.

i created you 
and i love you...
and all 
i want to do is love you.

live into my love."

i made a choice 
to live into GOD'S 
love.  

and that is what 
i am busy doing these days. 

i made a choice to 
celebrate GOD'S choice
to love 
me.

i've made a choice to 
recognize how hurtful the church 
has been...
to me and to others
with harsh and sometimes 
violent condemnation 
and also
through decent, orderly,  moderate 
do nothing, say nothing silence. 

i've made a choice to 
speak and live 
that others might 
find the courage and the joy
to choose 
the same love
that has healed me
and made me whole. 


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