the call...

Like Jeremiah,
the prophet God called
from the womb...
I have hurled a heap
of excuses
at God
through the years.

Along the way
there have been others
whose
criticism...
gossip...
doubt...
and
misplaced blame
have only given fuel
to my own
weakenesses and insecurities.

I've stood before God
strong in my opinion.

"I am not the one."
"I can't do that."
"I don't want to do that anymore."

And yet...
God
persistantly calls.

I've looked for other
places to go...
other things to do...
and God
per
sis
tant
ly
CALLS....
saying:

"You say to me over and over
that you are not
capable...
that you are not able....
that you are not
smart enough...
strong enough.

And yet,
I remain.
I will not grow weary
of showing you all that
is before you.

I can see
what you
cannot see.

I will not let you go.
I will give to you
what you need.
I am with you."

And so
I see
and
hear
again.

Even though
a part of me
wants
to run
in the other
direction.