Scripture teaches us to pray at all times in all of life situations.I think the same should be said about laughter.
I believe laughter is a form of prayer.
I am not naive enough, nor am I so pompous to suggest that it is hard to find room for laughter in all moments of life. I've discovered just how hard life can be this past year as I divorced. After 22 years of marriage I sat in the corner of my room filled with shame, grief, pain, and utter despair. I didn't find much to laugh about.....nor was I interested in laughing with others.
Yet.....
YET.....
God gifts me with laughter.
I am now in my 21st year of ministry and for some reason deep in my core I believe that the church can experience laughter again. Though many of my experiences in the church have been less than pleasant........(there have been times in ministry when I wondered if God's was simply playing a joke on me).....I still trust God. Perhaps God has been laughing all along....maybe I just don't get God's humor sometimes.
Anyhow, after 21 years of serving in a church that continues to grow older and decline....I wonder and pray that even in this moment in the life of the church if we can't discover joy and hope. I am holding out for
hope enough to laugh.....faith enough to ENJOY God and each other.
So.....the rest of my ministry will be this. I will poke, prod, and push those I serve to have courage enough to laugh......even when it seems impossible to do. I will hold out for resurrection for the church I serve....even if it means I have to stand at the grave and do so.
I trust that God will gift us with laughter....and in the process not only heal us...but grow us.
7 comments:
You cetainly did not leave the members of FPCR laughing upon your departure - and, by that point, many, beyond the church, in the Richardson community totally disliked you as well. How someone could alienate so many people in such a short time is amazing.
Many originally thought that you had great potential, but your negativity from the pulpit and on the world wide web spoke volumes about you and the major demons you were - and are - fighting internally.
How you can remain in the "ministry" - or how the church would allow it - is baffling to me and others who witnessed the train wreck you left behind in Richardson.
Thank you Barb.....you remind me of the challenge ministry has been and will always be.
Despite what you define as hate....Despite what you dislike in me....Despite any "demon" I may wrestle with....God has called me.
I simply share here in this space what I wrestle with. If you and others feel judged by that....then that is your journey....your issue.
I am also not the first to be hated in FPCR or Richardson. Probably won't be the last.
But hey....people hated Jesus too.
And NO BARB I am not comparing myself to Jesus...so don't go there.
The point is....despite those who hate me....God mercifully loves me....and continues to use me.
I will continue to serve. Because like I said....I've found laughter again....and with God's grace you will too.
By the way Barb....
Your's is not the first anonymous comment that I have received.
My name is Blake Spencer.
I am not ashamed of my strengths or my weaknesses.
I simply trust God's grace and faithfully follow where he leads.
Laughter can be prayer--in its authenticity and joy. i think it's a response, like prayer, when it comes from a pure heart.
Blessings to you, always.
God calls us to be repentant - he doesn't expect us to be perfect or sinless - just sin less once we are born again. Even among those who have been born again, many are still disfugured and haunted by past sins, mental illess, strife, etc.
Clearly, you are wrestling with many issues in your life, and I applaud the fact that you have been to counseling. With that said, I would argue that the magnitude of these issues would discount you from ANY vocational ministry. Certainly, it would in all evangelical or non-demonination churches. For the presbyterian church to allow you continue ministering with their blessing makes a very sad statement for that demonination; no wonder it is losing membership.
Honestly, you feeling called to "minister" is admirable, but foolish on your part. At the very least, God is calling you to get your OWN house in order. And, just remember, that God hold those who teach to greater accountability.
No hate here, just realistic statements. As I said earlier, you left a complete train wreck in Richardson - embarrasing yourself, your family, and your church. Yes, you were disliked, but you brought this all upon yourself.
Dear God,
Please watch over our beloved Laughing Pastor as he continues to seek and to find joy in life and in his ministry, despite the hateful sanctimonious barbs of your foolish ones. In the words of Your Son, let those who have ears hear.
Amen
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