bone to pick with you...

History of the original phrase taken from "Find a Phrase" website:

"Bone to pick," dates back to the 16th century, simply refers to a dog chewing endlessly on, and "picking clean," a large bone. A "bone to pick" is thus a subject or issue that is expected to require considerable discussion or argument. A similar phrase, "bone of contention," meaning an issue over which two people argue, also dates back to the 1500s and refers, appropriately, to two dogs fighting over an especially choice bone.

I deeply flinch when hearing the words: "I have a bone to pick with you." I suppose my adversion to this phrase stems from the almost five years I served a particular congregation. On a weekly basis members showed up to the church with a bone to pick. I can't count how many times the real message of the "bone picking" was directed at me personally. "You don't understand. You don't know. You are wrong. You forgot. You should have...."

I am no longer in that "bone picking" community. Though I have other challenges in life to wrestle with at the moment, I am most thankful not be be greeted on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis with someones "bone to pick".

I continue to serve Christ's church. In the current congregation I serve I have been greeted twice with the phrase: "I have a bone to pick with you." Hearing those words my heart dropped to the ground. I said to myself, "Here we go again." But as quickly as the phrase was spoken....it became clear that this time around these words were being spoken with good natured humor. This time around the "bones" were about purple pens and ice cream. Each time we ended with a laugh.

Slowly I am able to shake off the past and to embrace the present....which gives me hope for the future.