our neighbors
each christmas eve
out lined their large lawn
with paper bag luminaries
some years it was cold
in our
east texas
neighborhood
and i would
watch from my
second floor bedroom window
slowly
the dark barren yard
lit up
there was light in the darkness
and it was
beautiful
far more
intriguing than the
electric
plastic
stuff
up and down the road
light in the darkness
hope in the midst
of those moments that don't feel so hope filled
we were talking about such
the other afternoon on the phone
about the exhaustion that comes with
disappointment
and failure
"i'm so tired.
i'm so hurt."
how many times must one visit
such feelings
until
until
until there
is a break
through
to
something
rooted in reality
to something
that finally
allows us to
take care of ourselves
to be kind to ourselves
to finally
finally
finally
allow
GOD to
love us
the way
GOD
loved us from the
beginning
how many times
until the
peace and the
self
kindness
begins?
i suppose
enough times
until that moment
until that
light in the dark
moment
when
we finally say
i
am
ready
and the dark
things of our
life
are illuminated
with
beauty
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