starting over...

first presbyterian - eldorado arkansas

saint andrew presbyterian - san antonio, texas

first presbyterian - richardson, texas

first presbyterian - gatesville, texas

second presbyterian - nashville, tennessee

pleasantville presbyterain - pleasantville, new jersey

photos from my journey...

evidence of people and places

i have been.

one picture is missing

of advent presbyterian in houston.

they no longer worship in the same building.

it began in my late teenage years -

this call to serve the church.

when it began

i didn't realize

just how many new

beginnings i would experience...

just how many times i would

have to re-orient myself...

just how many times i would

have to re-establish my story...

just how many times i would

have to learn communication patterns and

personalities and names and stories

and regrets, fears,

and hopes...

just how many times i would

have to dig deep down in my being

to learn again

my strengths and weaknessess,

my needs, and hopes,

my regrets, and fears...

i'm not complaining

simply telling what has been

and what is.

starting over

is a fixed reality in my life experience.

each new beginning

requires that i evaluate

what it is i will bring into

the new land...

and what it is

i

will let

go

of.

though newness is a constant reality...

also constant

is the insight

i have gained along the way.

starting over

i've learned takes

courage.

far too long i lived life

believing i was not courageous

but this journey has

whittled away

old notions of self doubt.

oh

i'm not saying i don't doubt

or have moments

when i falter and fumble

i've just learned

that the faltering and fumbling and doubting

eventually fades

and what is left

is the constancy

of light and love.

none of us are exempt from

the constancy of new beginnings

even when we

stay in the same physical place.

40 days

40 years

40 generations...

the passing of time

it's part of all our lives.

from this point of view

the story of my journey has

become more clear...

as i've let go

as i've held on to...

i've busied myself

gleaning the grace

GOD has dispersed

even in those moments when

grace seems lost.

once again

i begin

anew....

holding on

letting go...