it's not an agenda

the preacher spoke...
"leave your agenda at the door
and i'll leave mine there as well."

only thing the preacher
not only told us
how to listen to the words he spoke
but made assumptions
as to how we were
hearing his words...

which was a way of
parading around
certain agendas
that remained in the room...
both in the pulpit and the pew.

i suppose agendas in our
corner of the church
often get in the way of our ability
to listen to each other.
i can admit that
confess that
understand that.

i suppose at one time along our
journey
as particular presbyterians
the ordination
of women was
defined as an agenda...

yet over time
we...
in our corner of the church
have been able to claim
with our polity
and our confessions
that women being called 
to all ministries of the church  
is not an agenda item or position...
but rather an affirmation
of GOD'S calling and doing.

being told how to hear
a barrage of noninclusive words...
coupled with the absence
of women serving communion...
with the addition of using
liturgy from a particular
era when women were not
accepted as worthy, gifted,
"ordainable"
children of GOD...
and then being
told from the pulpit
that our response
to such words
may well be the result
of our "agenda"...
that my discomfort
is of my own making
and not the result of
the one speaking
or the ones leading...

well
i do not accept
such definitions
or assumptions.

in this moment and
time in the church
there are drastic
differences between
agenda items
and
GOD breathed identities.

it is not an agenda
to be a woman
or a man for that matter...
it is a GOD breathed
creation and blessing.

it is not an agenda
to be a particular kind
of man or woman...
it is a GOD breathed
creation and blessing.

there is a
difference
between
agendas
and
GOD
breathed,
created,
blessed
identities.

the cause of my discomfort
was rooted in words and actions
that spoke loud and clear...

and i for one
did not feel invited
or welcome.

i trust
GOD'S
SPIRIT
to move and work in
ways i do not always
understand,
in ways i am not always
comfortable...

i also trust
GOD'S
SPIRIT
to heal and make
whole those moments
we fail each other.