confession...

Over twenty years ago I responded in a way I am ashamed of. For years I thought I was justified in my words and actions. Yet, all these years later I realize how utterly wrong I was. For one thing I did not have all the information. The second thing is the information I did have was not all together accurate.

I didn't like the news I received from my double cousins. Our mothers are cousins and our fathers are brothers. We were all in college at the time living in a house together. When I was told that not everything was as it seemed in certain matters I felt betrayed, stupid, sad and angry. Instead of digging down to find out more about the news and my reaction I stormed out, moved out, made a scene.

Through the years we have been together here and there for family reasons....we have always been polite to each other. But deep down I knew something stood between us.

It took over twenty years to come to terms with all this.....so today I dropped everything and drove to visit my cousin face to face. We shared small talk, caught up on all our family and then I told him this was a day of repentance and confession on my part.

I asked for his forgiveness. I told him I am ashamed. He did what he always does. He was calm. He smiled. He told me things I would not hear all those years ago. He assured me, encouraged me, still loves me.

On the way home I called his sister. I told her the same thing. She did the same thing. Instant forgiveness, overwhelming grace, joy.

I woke up today knowing I would offer confession. It did not feel good early today. But as I spoke my sin and fear and anger....the power of grace overcame me. Tonight I thank God for the courage to admit my wrong doing.

The peace of Christ is with me....in this moment. Amen.