Saturday, January 19, 2008
remembering my call
These past two weeks I had time to remember. I do believe that I had forgotten my story. I got so wrapped up in planning and doing, planning and doing, planning and doing......followed up with critique, complaints, comments....only to plan and do some more. The ministry God called me too almost 30 years ago had more to do with than planning and doing.
The process of remembering my original call into the ministry has given me the perspective that I have been missing the past few years.
God didn't come to me in a burning bush or a cloud in the sky. There was never anything dramatic about my call. Instead, I sensed God's calling over time through very ordinary people in very ordinary ways. In fact, part of my calling had to do with a deal I made with God.
"Look God. I get that you want me to do this ministry thing. I don't really know why. For God's sake I am in the Presbyterian Church. Do you know the educational standards the Presbyterian Church has for ordained ministers. Look, Dude....I am not smart enough to do all that stuff. But if you know something I don't know....then go ahead. Here's the deal I'll make. If nothing else comes along then I'll go where you want me to go."
I'm thinking God loves it when we make deals like this. Of course God knew things I didn't know. I graduated, passed my ordination exams and have been ordained for over 20 years now.
The last place I thought I would ever go back to was school. But here I am. The other night my daughter and I figured out that I was in the 20th grade! Lord, have mercy!
The most important thing I remembered is this:
God loved me before I ever knew God.
God gave me the skill and the courage to do this thing called ministry.
If God has done all this....then God will be with me tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. I don't need to worry. I don't need to make deals with God. I don't need to get wrapped up in anger and anxiety.
I simply have been called to trust. Along the way I have experienced the adventure of a lifetime!