joy again

she noticed
a change 

she said 
"you're different." 

i said
"yep
i was born that way!"

she said,
"no, really
you're different 
and it's good."

and 
she's right

i found the 
joy again

the joy 
of ministry

my 
mo 
jo
is back

i thought it was gone
for good
and was working 
to settle for what was

but what 
was 
grew into something
different

this church i now serve
has helped to bring alive
the joy
of serving and listening
laughing and crying
thinking and praying

i thought the joy 
was lost
and in that lost-ness
i guarded my heart
saying to myself,
"i won't give so freely
next time."

the lost-ness
and guarded-ness
gave way
and what 
i thought 
was lost
is found

i found the joy 
again

my 
mo 
jo
is back

i still stumble
and feel too much

i still blunder
and forget
and get overwhelmed
and
forget

but the joy 
is back

in the midst of 
a little church who could...
a community of faith
who risks to do 
what they say they believe

i have witnessed
and received 
the joy
again