she loves me

my precious daughter

i was born to be a father

and my life was changed yet again 

when my daughter was born.

we call her homemade.

my son

adopted....

the way he used to explain it to his little sister:

they chose me...

they had to keep you.

there is no difference in love 

that is chosen or homemade.  

no difference at all...

period.

madeleine...

my daughter.

she is tenacious!

from the very beginning 

she established her willingness and ability 

to stick to it.

she was always determined to keep up with her big brother....

and then surpassed him in karate.

he quit to play baseball 

she became a black belt in 5th grade. 

oh...

my dear 

beautiful and ever so strong 

and delightful daughter.

i told my counselor all about her...

adding that i didn't think i had it in me

to tell my daughter the truth about my life.

i remember saying 

i might as well die.

my counselor said...

"blake, it will be difficult

but it won't kill you."  

so, i set out with my wife 

to tell our daughter

that i was not only born to be a father...

but i was born gay...

and coming to terms with the gay

was going to re-arrange our lives. 

it was a bumpy day...

the day i sat down with my 

wife and daughter to speak truth.

i had promised to speak with clarity 

and brevity.  

so i did.

i sat in a rocker.

my daughter sat on the couch.

my wife next to her. 

i sat facing the two...

knee to knee

eye to eye.

i spoke

and before i could finish my brief story 

my daughter 

moved to my lap...

like my son 

she hugged me...

like my son she 

spoke with clarity,

intensity,

and un

condition

ality.

though the journey ahead 

for all of us was frightening

as  we stepped into uncharted territory

it would be these 

initial words of 

love and grace 

that would root us

and hold us together 

like we had not been held together before.

again...

no pollyana gloss over.

it was difficult.

BUT

change cannot erase love.

BUT

love endures all things....

and for me

and my daughter

well...

we have had the blessing 

of discovering this deep 

and abiding truth.  

without condition...

i love my daughter

and she loves me.